In Memory of Marina

She was one of my best friends and I never met her.

I can’t tell you how many times I have read and reread her poem “Bygones” -- my favorite piece of written work in the world, by far. Type in “Marina Keegan” for a burst of inspiration any time of day, any day of the week, no matter what. I had told all my friends about her, too.

This poem, right? I just happened to be watching it five minutes before I got the news. Bowled over by her words all over again, I posted a link to it at the end of my blog post earlier today, quoted from it for my post’s title (I quote Marina often), and hit “publish” when a friend sent me the article.

“Marina Keegan ’12, a prolific writer, actress and activist, died Saturday afternoon in a car accident near Dennis, Mass. She was 22.”

Are people like Marina even allowed to die? Are people who live the way Marina did even allowed to die? She lived only to be the purest and the happiest she could be in this world. She savored every moment. She wrote, "I want enough time to be in love with everything."

Her literally breathtaking poem ends with the line, “And I cry because everything is so beautiful and so short.” Well I watched the video of her poem again today, before I got the news, and I wondered at the fact that the camera cut to a black screen just as she uttered her last word, cutting out what I’m sure was a grand standing ovation. I was going to ask her permission to perform it.

I fell in love with her school when I visited and saw her perform -- I emailed her asking for college advice. She refused to answer my email but instead called me that very instant to give me a breathless five-minute version of the “why Yale is better than Harvard” talk. Who does that? When I ended up choosing Harvard a few months later, she wrote to me, “Harvard is despicable, but perhaps less so for your attainment.” I rejoiced over this line and shared her words with everyone I knew.

When I asked her for her opinion on taking a gap year, she replied, “taking a gap year is awesome and amazing if you have something awesome that you really want to do (aka travel.)” She had travelled the world. She had known herself. She had lived.

I am proud to know her, though I barely knew her, and there was so much to know. All I can say is how much her words have helped me through tough times. I expressed this to her this once and she responded, “I can't tell you sincerely enough how much it means to me that my poetry has helped you. It's really an ultimate goal of mine and I'm so happy you can relate to some of my concerns and anxieties and quandaries and happiness'!”

Let us fulfill this ultimate goal of Marina's, and learn to live from this indescribable woman.

I idolize her as a writer, knowing fully well and embracing that I can never be the writer she was. And so I close with her own words.

“So I went to Yale.
So I got good grades.
So we beat on
birds flocking south until we
circle round and realize maybe,
maybe all that running wasn’t worth it.”

-- Marina Keegan, sister, role model, angel

Comments

  1. DMay 30, 2012 at 8:28 PM

    Thank you for sharing this Ratna.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 3, 2012 at 11:03 AM

    This came as a shock! I recall you sharing a poem of hers. I absolutely loved it. I cannot believe she is gone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Trevor KeeganSeptember 13, 2012 at 4:04 AM

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience with Marina. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to find stories like yours online. It reminds me again of what a wonderful person Marina was, and how she was able to touch so many people's lives. Every so often it hits me again, and I realize that shes not upstairs writing or doing homework, and that i won't be able to find her no matter how much I wish I could. That is why your post means so much to me...reading your experience with Marina allows me to find her again, even of only for a minute. It reminds me of how she was able to affect other peoples lives, and of the lasting impression she left us all with. Thank you so much!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bygones -- by Marina Keegan

Image
I had a dream the other night that I was checking my email. That dream sucks. And woke to woes of seniors writing love songs for tomorrow and Tomorrow and the melodies That flirt us forward, whispering the next thing and the next thing and  – so we beat on birds flocking south until we circle round and realize maybe maybe all that running wasn’t worth it. Maybe we should build a cabin. Or teach high school. Or use our hands. My palms are smooth as words – Weak with fashion and double spaces. I want everyone else’s club and job and class The grass I sleep in always browner than Than that around erasing dreams To sit and breathe because you Only bank for two years then it's over And twenty two is nothing new It’s just another chance to build For when we’re twenty three And twenty four And time begins to sell for more than Any 9 a.m. to never. We’re not stuck. That's the thing, we're not stuck. We owe no o
Read more

Din 227: “God took his time making you.”

Image
I awoke this morning to the sound of my students -- what could be better? We started today’s class with 15 minutes of Anapana (the first step of Vipassana meditation), which is designed to concentrate the mind. I have never seen meditators more still or focused than these children! After teaching them the technique, I told them we would be starting every class like this from now on. Meditation is a wonderful tool they can take with them wherever they go, and they are lucky to be starting at such a young age! As the class broke into groups and started practicing numbers for our upcoming Variety Show, I caught up with a few students. Vandna, a sophomore and our oldest student, was supposed to pick her academic stream (cf. major) a few weeks ago, but had been waiting for my return to consult me before making her final decision. She is most interested in commerce and dreams of holding a high position at a bank one day, but her family is advising her to take liberal arts, which has le
Read more

PSYCHED for summer!

Image
The last few days have been emotional with packing and moving and no more exams and lots more goodbyes. Wednesday night we threw a fabulous surprise farewell party for a very oblivious Reylon, with many of his closest friends and entrywaymates turning out to shower him with love, song, and pizza. Yesterday came my last exam of the year, a truly tragic event -- I stayed in my Latin classroom until the very last possible moment, twiddling my thumbs and staring at my professor and trying to draw out my freshman year as long as possible. I cried when I turned in my test and left the room. In the evening, the Opportunes had our last private gig of the season at the Faculty Club (throwback to our first gig this year!), where our beautiful seniors performed their last public rendering of "Midnight Train to Georgia" amidst laughs from the audience and tears from Bernie. After a night of packing and snacking and New Girl , I fell asleep hoping to stay in
Read more