Friday, September 28, 2012

Day ???: Prose is peace.

Walking back to my dorm after an extra help session for bio yesterday (where I basically had to admit to my professor that I hadn't understood a thing she's said over the last three weeks), I called a friend to tell him about the very humbling, almost humiliating, kind of hilarious experience. He made some sympathetic remarks, and when I responded with a classically Ratna, "but isn't this what it feels like to learn?!" he mumbled something along the lines of, "I guess..."

My attention in class wanes as the week waxes, but a byproduct of this is that I also wax philosophical. It's almost laughable how lost I feel in some (all?) of my classes right now, and remarkable how okay I am with it. My little sister was talking to me last night about how high school sometimes makes her feel stupid, to which yesterday's Ratna responded the following:

"I have purposely plunged myself into experiences designed to make me feel 'stupid' this semester. My climate change seminar is filled with people who understand the world better than I do. My math class (which, it should be pointed out, is of the lowest level offered at Harvard) feels like it is being played in fast forward every morning. In my bio class, it is impossible to take notes for a second without missing the next ten slides' worth of information (the study of life is killing me). My a cappella group is pushing me to turn around parts faster than I've ever done before (i.e. feel tonedeaf). Even the Latin isn't as intuitive this year."

I guess I could be chipper and say I enjoy the challenges, but it's not exactly the challenge of it all that I enjoy. I just enjoy being here. The information means something to me. It's been an interesting insight into what is important to me as an individual, what I enjoy doing the most (which turns out to be studying), and how happy coffee makes me.

Speaking of which, this whole post might be a product of the aforementioned, and is it bad that I drafted this during class?!

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