This blog started as a space for me to chronicle my gap year, and remains as an opportunity for me to slow down and focus on reflecting, one moment at a time.
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I had a dream the other night that I was checking my email. That dream sucks. And woke to woes of seniors writing love songs for tomorrow and Tomorrow and the melodies That flirt us forward, whispering the next thing and the next thing and – so we beat on birds flocking south until we circle round and realize maybe maybe all that running wasn’t worth it. Maybe we should build a cabin. Or teach high school. Or use our hands. My palms are smooth as words – Weak with fashion and double spaces. I want everyone else’s club and job and class The grass I sleep in always browner than Than that around erasing dreams To sit and breathe because you Only bank for two years then it's over And twenty two is nothing new It’s just another chance to build For when we’re twenty three And twenty four And time begins to sell for more than Any 9 a.m. to never. We’re not stuck. That's the thing, we're not stuck. We owe no o...
I awoke this morning to the sound of my students -- what could be better? We started today’s class with 15 minutes of Anapana (the first step of Vipassana meditation), which is designed to concentrate the mind. I have never seen meditators more still or focused than these children! After teaching them the technique, I told them we would be starting every class like this from now on. Meditation is a wonderful tool they can take with them wherever they go, and they are lucky to be starting at such a young age! As the class broke into groups and started practicing numbers for our upcoming Variety Show, I caught up with a few students. Vandna, a sophomore and our oldest student, was supposed to pick her academic stream (cf. major) a few weeks ago, but had been waiting for my return to consult me before making her final decision. She is most interested in commerce and dreams of holding a high position at a bank one day, but her family is advising her to take liberal arts, which has le...
Why did I cut my hair? My hair used to be my favorite thing about my appearance. There's the quick and dirty answer: "I thought short hair would be easier to manage." (It's not.) My long hair was always a crutch. A beautiful one, at that. One quick hair flip and I could avoid an awkward conversation or cover up a clingy sweater. Those lovely strands of protein provided me a comfort zone, a place where I could hide. Why did I deactivate my Facebook? Facebook used to be my favorite way to express myself. Those precious surface-level conversations and passive aggressive inside jokes meant to be seen by everyone but the person to whom I sent them were my jam . The hours logged being pretty just to post pictures were some of my most enjoyable -- and rewarding, too, viz. OMG RATNAAA your gorgeoussssss<3 and the like. Why did I take a gap year? School used to be my favorite place to be. School is safe . Knowledge is God's most beautiful gift to mankind, an...
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